"In recovery," handpan music, sweating
Gratitude List: August 28, 2024
At work, after a proposal draft has been reviewed, it is said to be “in recovery.” So everyone is talking about being in recovery all the time. And it just cracks me up because of what the term means in my personal life.
I think this might be a resentment, not a gratitude: I feel like I have to spend all of my free time meditating, to recover from some aspect of my day. Every little task or stressor beats me down. The gratitude comes in having meditation as a tool, but I resent this is what my life has devolved into. Playing a mindless video game for 15 minutes or going on a long walk or talking to a sober friend don’t help me recover enough right now; they aren’t big enough guns. Only meditating is.
Mallary.
Healing some old wounds with Abby today.
Handpan music. It’s embarrassing to say I like it because it’s sort of elevator music, but it’s calming and helps me focus. Here’s an example:
Getting in a good sweat this evening just from walking. Lord, it was hot out today.
Exploring “football watching recipes” I want to try. ‘Tis the season.
Being at peace with the fact that 4-year-olds are annoying as shit sometimes.
Finding the strength to work late even though I feel terrible today. I got assigned a new project today that is going to require a lot of overtime over the next two weeks. I simply can’t get behind.
Seeing Patrick and his dog at 7-Eleven today. We barely knew each other in high school, but I feel close to him now since we share dad trauma and he carved that beautiful hawk for my mom’s farm.